A great quote from Kristen Neff’s book on self-compassion which I highly recommend…
The echoes of what someone else has said about you keeps repeating over and over in your head. You can’t seem to shut it out.The worst part is, it has made you upset or extremely angered by that person who said those mean things about you. That’s all you feel and think about all day. Your day is ruined. Has this ever happened to you?” Get the answer here: How to Not Let Words Hurt You.
The Happiness Project via Just Because Something is Fun For Someone Else Doesn’t Mean It’s Fun For You..
How important is the stuff in your life?
Your material possessions—those things you’ve worked so hard for, slaving 40, 50, 60 hours a week to acquire—how much value do they actually add to your life?
We bet it’s less than you realize.
Here’s an exercise for you. Take a moment, write down your 10 most expensive material possessions from the last decade. Things like your car, your house, your jewelry, your furniture, and any other material possessions you own or have owned in the last ten years. The big ticket items.
Next to that list, make another top 10 list: 10 things that add the most value to your life. This list might include experiences like catching a sunset with a loved one, watching your kid play baseball, eating dinner with your parents, etc.
Be honest with yourself when you’re making these lists. It’s likely that both lists share zero things in common.
Nicholas Bate talks about failure…
We need courage to help us with failure. There: we’ve said it. Failure which is often harder to drop into a conversation than the term explicit sex. But we do need failure. Not failure the result: losing the business, losing the girl, failing the interview. But failure the process: learning, improving, iterating, removing slack, becoming lean, becoming fighting-fit, installing effectiveness, developing wired-in muscle memory, just knowing, getting really really good, broadening, widening, gaining wisdom, picking yourself up and smiling and trying once again. Yeah, that. The whole process requires lots and lots of crappy failure. And we don’t like it: we want approval, we want love, we want accolades. But hang on a minute: no, you don’t. You really want to grow, you really want to discover who the heck you are, you really want to see just what your limits are. You want to start creating your personal greatest works. And you do all of that by failing. Repeatedly. With tears at times. With jeers at others. But stay in the game. The right girl is quietly noting you. The rumours are reaching that elusive agent. Quarter 4 target was a bit of a breeze; just don’t tell HQ in California. The thing is you will fail at whatever you try to be good at, be it juggling (balls will drop) to blogging (posts will bore) to interviews (CVs will fail to impress) to start up pitches (we’ve heard it all before). But from failure you will learn so much more, so much more than success. You really do need courage to stay in the game. It’ll be worth it when you get a real score, a real success. Fail enough and you will get what you want and you will become free. Plus you will get the girl who wants to hang out with a grown-up. Not a kid in a wannabee T-shirt.
Lifecoach Kute Blackson writes…
Real heroes aren’t angels in the sky. They don’t float amidst cotton candy clouds. Real heroes don’t need to climb Mt. Everest, jump from planes, or walk on fire to prove their strength. Real heroes aren’t named Woods, Kobe, or Cruise. They don’t run from life in order to find peace. Real heroes deal. They know how to take responsibility for whatever befalls them—or whatever they’ve caused.
Real heroes are those who dare to enter situations fully, carrying peace with them. Real heroes are those who have the courage to love, laugh, and live full tilt. Despite the hand they’re dealt. Despite who did what to them. Real heroes are those who dare to live larger than what scares them, embracing their brothers and sisters with open hearts.
There is a HERO inside you.
Deep in our hearts we all have a longing to: Play like Mozart did at four. Play like Miles Davis jazzed. Play like Michael Jordan jumped. Play like Martin Luther King peaced. What would happen if you played like that? What would your life look like if you played like Nelson Mandela persevered? Or like Einstein intuited, Buddha meditated, Mother Theresa loved, Picasso painted, Jesus miracled, Janis Joplin crooned, Barishnikov danced, and Pele played? What could you do? Who would you be if you didn’t let your fear, your past, or your limitations stop you?
It’s your time. It’s your life. NOW.
Real heroes know that no one’s coming.
Because they’re already there.
Because you’re already here.
You are the hero you’ve been waiting for.
I dare you.
No one is coming. How will YOU respond?
The great philosopher Mark Cuban shares this…
I hear it all the time from people. “I’m passionate about it.” “I’m not going to quit, It’s my passion.” Or I hear it as advice to students and others “Follow your passion.”
What a bunch of BS. “Follow your passion” is easily the worst advice you could ever give or get.
Why? Because everyone is passionate about something. Usually more than one thing. We are born with it. There are always going to be things we love to do. That we dream about doing. That we really really want to do with our lives. Those passions aren’t worth a nickel.
Think about all the things you have been passionate about in your life. Think about all those passions that you considered making a career out of or building a company around. How many were/are there? Why did you bounce from one to another? Why were you not able to make a career or business out of any of those passions? Or if you have been able to have some success, what was the key to the success? Was it the passion or the effort you put in to your job or company?
If you really want to know where your destiny lies—look at where you apply your time.
Me? I think Cuban’s binary perspective that is BS. I am fond of saying it’s not either/or — it’s both/and. In this case, it’s not passion or effort — it is both harnessed and combined effectively. Go to the source if you’d like to read the rest of his perspective, but it seems to me he comes around when he says “When you are good at something, passionate, and work even harder to excel and be the best at it, good things happen.” imho, passion is the fuel that makes the effort possible; without one you don’t have the other…
- Bad advice from Mark Cuban: “Ignore your passion” (positivesharing.com)
- Create The Day – With Passion (createabeautifullife.com)
- Career & Life 2.0: Find Your Purpose and Passion and Experience Peak Performance (timesunion.com)
If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Quiz: Are you a “Tigger” or an “Eeyore”?
Quiz: Are you the one that everyone finds difficult?
9 tips for dealing with difficult relatives.
Make people happier by acknowledging that they’re not feeling happy.
Great use of video blogging as well, wouldn’t you say?
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
– Michael Jordan
“What if we knew for certain that everything we’re worried about today will work out fine?
What if.. .we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we’d be grateful for that problem, and its solution?
What if. . .we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?
What if. . .we had a guarantee that everything that’s happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?
What if. . .we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they’re intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don’t have to control or take responsibility for them?
What if. . .we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?
What if. . .we knew everything was okay, and we didn’t have to worry about a thing? What would we do then? We’d be free to let go and enjoy life.
Today, I will know that I don’t have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing worry, and it is not necessary.” Source: November 28: Letting Go of Worry | Language of Letting Go