Be grateful for where you are now

Faith Happens

Image via Wikipedia

“It doesn’t take as much faith to believe that everything happens for a reason as it does to embrace the belief that I am who and where I am now, today, for a reason—even if I don’t know what that reason is and even if I don’t particularly like who or where I am today,” a friend said to me. “When I can take that in, my dissatisfaction and negativity disappear, and I can proceed calmly and gratefully with my life. To me,” he said, “that’s what spirituality is all about.”

Faith and hope aren’t just for the future. Try using them on today.

Could it be that you’re who you are and where you are now for a reason? Thank God for your life, exactly as it is, right now.

God, give me enough faith to believe in today.

via January 28: be Grateful for Where You are Now | Language of Letting Go.

It’s all a Gift

C. S. Lewis

Image via Wikipedia

Men are not angered by mere misfortune but by misfortune conceived as injury. And the sense of injury depends on the feeling that a legitimate claim has been denied.

— C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Oh, the grousing about we do, especially when we feel denied of one thing or another—some reward, or achieve­ment, or position that we felt belonged to us.

How enraged we may become when a wish, a hope, a dream, or a want is blatantly denied.

How easy it is to be jealous of the success or happiness of another, even convincing ourselves that the person has laid claim to something that rightfully belonged, instead, to us.

The lesson here is simple.

Remember to be grateful. God doesn’t owe us anything. All of it is a gift.

God, thanks for everything, just as it is.

Source: January 24: It’s all a Gift | Language of Letting Go


Logo of the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (...

Image via Wikipedia

“Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I’ll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.

Our best problem solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.

Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.

Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.” Source; November 13: Peace | Language of Letting Go


Umezu signing the instrument of surrender to t...


“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Step Three of Al-Anon; Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible. Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe. And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided. It will be good. Understand that it is good, now. Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re-evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none. Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered. Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours. Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.” Source: November 11: Surrender | Language of Letting Go

The ‘higher power’ and relationships…

Image via Wikipedia

“A definition of Interdependence is, “a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities.”

The key word here is: “reciprocal”. Interdependence can be thought of as a relationship where each party gives and receives from his or her own internal overflow. Which is TOTALLY different than “codependence” which can be thought of as being “addicted to someone”.

Another way to look at it, spiritually, is this:

A codependent person makes someone else his or her Higher Power. An interdependent person knows that The Uni-verse is their Higher Power and keeps their focus on that, while choosing to be in a relationship with someone else who is also looking to The Uni-verse to fulfill them…

You see, when we make someone else our Higher Power, we are REALLY setting ourselves up for pain. This is a top cause of pain in relationships and of break ups. We are looking to someone else for something they can never give us – which is perfect and unwavering Love. There is only one place unwavering Love comes from and that is The Uni-verse.

The Love of The Uni-verse never changes; other people change all the time. When we keep our eyes on The Uni-verse and surrender to It’s will for us, we take everyone else off the hook for our happiness. We no longer seek to take Love from them, but to show up from a place of overflow and give Love to them. This kind of relationship creates two really great givers and FORgivers. This is the cornerstone of having an awesome and long-term relationship.

Are you making a person your Higher Power? Are you ready to take your eyes off of them and put them towards The Uni-verse and accept It’s perfect Love for you? Can you see yourself and those you are in relationship with as imperfect human beings who are fallible and Love them anyways, not because they are fulfilling your every need, but because it is Love that is who you really are? Do you think you might be addicted to someone?” Source; A Top Cause of Relationship Pain & BreakUps!

Of course for me, the Uni-verse is Jesus, but Mastin Kipp makes brilliant sense here. For me, anyway. As Gibran said “Do not say I have found THE truth, but I have found A truth”. Kipp and his site have really been a blessing to me as I try to take a healthier perspective on relationships…

10 Ways to Ask Your Wife for Forgiveness

Husband And Wife

One thing men are very talented at is getting into trouble – especially when they are husbands. Sometimes we’re thoughtless, sometimes we’re forgetful, sometimes we’re selfish, sometimes we’re downright mean. More often than not we get ourselves in deep water because we are – quite simply – clueless.

Regardless of how we got there, trouble is a place we need to vacate, and fast. We need grace, we need understanding and we need forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a sweet and a beautiful thing. But forgiveness can neither be earned nor demanded – it has to be given, as a gift. However, rather than skulk around in hiding, there are a number of things All Pro Dads can do to facilitate the conditions in which forgiveness might possibly thrive.

It’s important to remember that you’re not so much trying to get out of trouble as you are working to heal the relationship. That’s something that requires self-evaluation and humility. So try these 10 Ways to ask your wife for forgiveness…

Unfortunately, I need this now. Follow the ‘via’ link above along with me to get the 10 ways…

10 things scripture says about being a father

Father/Son A and B

Image by heymarchetti via Flickr

There is nothing easy about being a dad. Especially nowadays, if conversations around the water-cooler are anything to go by. Well, we hear your pain. But an honest look at history reveals a—well—comforting familiarity to the foundational premise.

Fact is; dads have been throwing their hands up in the air for literally thousands of years. Fortunately for us this means we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. The iPod, maybe. But the wheel, no.

While children were frustrating the dads of yore, the teachers of yore also came up with their own ideas. So we took a look:

“10-Ways to teach your son to fight Romans” didn’t seem PC.

“10-Ways to marry off your daughter before she becomes a teenager” also didn’t work for us.

“10-Ways to plague the Egyptians” wasn’t going to pass muster with the State Department.

The good news, however, is that we did find the following—more appropriate—10 things scripture says about being a father.

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in knowing what Scripture says about Fathering…

5 Traits of a Good Marriage

Hindu marriage ceremony from a Rajput wedding.

Image via Wikipedia

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, say in their book, When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages, that there are 5 traits of a healthy, life-long marriage: ownership, hope, empathy, forgiveness, and commitment. Here is a summary of each of those characteristics.

1. Ownership: Taking Responsibility

Often, couples believe their problems are the result of the other person’s actions.  It’s easy to avoid responsibility for our problems by blaming someone else.  But in the long-haul, admitting mistakes and owning up to our part of the problem is the single most powerful predictor of turning something bad into something good. Couples need to realize that it’s not who’s wrong, but what’s wrong that counts.

2. Hope:  Believing that Good Ultimately Triumphs

The foundation of hope is belief.  We must believe that the kind of marriage we want is possible.  Hope keeps love alive.  Stop hoping and marriage dies.

3. Empathy:  Walking in your Spouse’s Shoes

A spouse must be aware of what their spouse is feeling and what’s behind that feeling.  Empathy involves both the head and the heart. Many of us do one or the other pretty well; we either feel our partner’s pain with our heart, or we try to solve their problem with our head.  To do both can be a challenge.  But that is what empathy is all about.

4. Forgiveness:  Healing the Wounds

In a good marriage, both husbands and wives are quick to ask for forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. The simple words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” are magical in marriage. Forgiveness was designed to heal the deepest wounds of a human heart.

5. Commitment: Loving for Life

No matter how long a couple has been married, commitment may be the most effective tool good marriages use in battling bad things. Without commitment and the trust it engenders, marriages would have little hope of lasting.

In the face of difficulty, the key is to stay committed to your spouse and work together. Sit down with your spouse tonight and discuss how you are doing in each of these categories.

As the Apostle Paul said “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” I’m struggling with many of these issues right now, trying to do the right thing with my wife despite manipulation from her family. Don’t they realize we have enough drama in our lives without more from their Karpman Drama Triangle?! Apparently not — the problem is that other people are unmanageable and the only thing I can manage is me…