Nutrition for Dummies

Craig Harper offers this practical list:

1. Don’t eat anything bigger than your head. Unless it’s a watermelon. Or you have a tiny head.

2. If your meal arrives through a car window via a teenager wearing a headset, don’t eat it.

3. If it comes in an exciting range of fluorescent colours, don’t eat it.

4. Don’t confuse the marketing on the front (of the pack) with the nutritional information in the teeny-tiny box on the back.

5. Nobody accidentally eats cake. Own your choices and your behaviours.

6. Calories consumed in secret count. Your friends might not know but your arse will.

7. If dieting was an effective way to lose weight permanently, nobody would ever diet twice.

8. Don’t confuse ‘what your head wants’ with what your body needs. Your mind is a lying bitch.

9. If the ingredient list is full of weird-sounding numbers and words ending in ‘ose’, throw it away.

10. If you haven’t had a poo since June, maybe cut back on the processed food. And try a little fibre. Just saying.

11. If it comes with orange-coloured cheese, throw it away.

12. Most cereals are shit. Avoid them. Unless you want diabetes by Friday.

13. Amazingly, following a generic eating plan from a magazine is not your best bet.

14. If food is your lover, you need to get out more.

15. If you’re considering taking your kids to McDonalds for a treat, punch yourself in the face.” via Nutrition for Dummies (Craig’s version).

Thanks to David Kanigan for introducing me to Craig’s blog…

4 thoughts on “Nutrition for Dummies

  1. I told my soccer team a couple of weeks ago not to eat anything out of a bag or a box 24 hours before a game. They thought I was nuts which is true, but that advice was good…

  2. This is AWESOME!!! I was always horrible with nutrition and eventually it caught up with me. Thank goodness, I’m able to make the changes necessary BEFORE I get sick. It’s always a good reminder to just STOP taking the “easy” road. (Or, at least that’s what most people think. It’s just as easy to eat an apple as it is to rip open a package of candy.) Loved this! :D

    • Me, too! I have several new mantras in my life like ‘water is the new vodka’, ‘carrots are the new chips’, etc. and I keep repeating them to myself when I head to the refrigerator. Not only am I happier and healthier but my cravings for crap from bags and boxes has gone down significantly…

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