Adrienne M. posted on the flipside of detachment over at her blog today:
If you attach yourself to one person, you ultimately end up having an unhealthy relationship. Shirley MacLaine.
Needing people in our lives is healthy, human, and natural. Needing a single person to love at a very deep level is also soothing to the soul’s well-being. Love and attachment are not synonymous, however. They are close to being opposites. If we “attach” ourselves to others, our movements as separate individuals are hampered. Attachment means dependency; it means letting our movements be controlled by the one we are “hooked” to.
Dependency on mood-altering chemicals, on food, on people, means unmanageability in our individual lives. Many of us in this recovery program, though abstinent, still struggle with our dependency on a certain person or a certain friend.
The tools we are learning apply in all cases of dependency. It is healthy independence we are striving for—taking responsibility for our own lives—making choices appropriate for our personal selves. Loving others means letting them make their own choices unhampered by our “attachment.”
Are my relationships attachments or are they based on love? I will take an inventory of them today.” via Daily Reading – June 24, 2012 « 12 Steps – Think About It!.
The Universe is really putting this issue front and center today. Ugggh…