My favorite quote on fatherhood…

My birth father abandoned my mother and me 3 months before my birth. I was raised by my grandmother while my mother supported our family unit until the day she met my dad. They were married over 50 years ago and he formally adopted me when I was 5 — I still remember going before the judge and having him ask me if I wanted my dad to be my dad. It’s an honor and a privilege that few sons have — to actually affirm their choice of a father before a judge…

Years later as a student of German literature, I came across this quote: “Nicht Fleisch und Blut, das Herz macht uns zu Vätern und Söhnen.” I thank God every day for my dad’s heart; a heart which made him a father and me a son and gave me the courage to adopt my own son when I met the woman of my dreams like he did…

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12 thoughts on “My favorite quote on fatherhood…

  1. Love this…I tell my grandson whose father has not been in his life since the day after his birth…that there is a difference between a father and a dad (obviously not in those words). My daughter is now married and her husband treats my grandson as his own…my grandson is only six and his dad has been in his life since he was three. He doesn’t know any other man than his dad and sometimes I worry about this as when he gets older an starts wondering is this is his “real dad”. he was so little when his dad came into his life and though he started calling him by his name he now knows him only as dad. How tramatic that potentially can be…the mere idea makes me weep.. I wonder if he will feel lost and somehow betrayed and lied to even though knowone has. I wonder when will he start looking at their different appearance or whn someone will say as much to him and will he feel lost. So I try tyo tell him the importance of a dad.. a father is merely a sperm donor a dad is the man that counts -again not in those words- :) I tell my grandson a dad is someone who reads to you at night even when they are tired themselves after a long day at work, he is the person who stays up with you when you are sick holding your hand in comfort telling you everything will be all right. He teaches you how to ride your bike or play a mean game of go fish, a dad disciplines you when you do wrong and encourages you when you do good. A dad helps you with your homework and tells you why it is so important to learn that the world is full of mysteries that perhaps one day you will solve, he teaches you to be a good boy and more importantly shows you what it takes to be an even better man.
    I am fortunate to have such magnificent grandchildren, and a magnificent daughter who has brought into their lives a wonderful man.

    • I couldn’t agree with you more! A few years ago, my mom & dad told me that my father — the biological one — had died. It made the same difference to me as a leaf falling to the ground. My dad is the one who did the time, paid the dues, brought me up, earned the title — my biological father was just a sperm donor. There was a time in college that I wanted to know everything and my mom told me the whole story. I promptly forgot most of the details — in the big picture they meant nothing. I really couldn’t care less about my father; my dad made me the man I am today. Did you see the link to this post from Father’s Day 2011? This will also give you some insight; http://toddlohenry.com/2011/05/29/i-thank-god-every-day-for-my-dad/

      Thanks, V. Lyn for commenting and blessings on your grandson, your daughter, her husband and you! Remember, heart makes fathers and sons!

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