Tommy Rosen has been doing a great job covering the 12 step program over at The Daily Love. Today he writes:
In this Step, we will practice taking full ownership of the circumstances of our relationships in our lives to this point. We will own our side of the street completely and we will approach those that we have harmed with humility, honesty, compassion and a sincere desire to set things right. We will put out of our minds anything that they may have done wrong and approach them to apologize and also to make an amends. Many people confuse making amends with an apology. An apology is to say sorry for what you have done. To “make amends” is to express that you are changing yourself in such a way that you will not commit the same act again. To make amends also has a connotation of making reparations. We will need to make the situation right. If we have stolen, then we re-pay what we have stolen. If we have cheated, then we ask what we can do to make it up to them. Far beyond a simple apology, which by the way, we may have given before many times, when we give an amends, it is a more profound act that can bring true healing in its wake.
Go to your 8th Step list and note all the people who are in your general location. These are people who you can get to easily face to face. Begin to make appointments to see them. No need to let them know exactly what your intention is other than to get together to connect and that it is important to you. Sometimes they will not want to see you. We always try to make amends face to face unless it is not possible. If a person refuses to see you, or lives halfway across the world or if they have passed on, then writing a letter will be sufficient. Prepare yourself before you meet someone to make an amends. Make certain you are ready to own your side of the street and stay off of theirs. It is wise to discuss each amends first with your sponsor or teacher.” Get more here: Step Nine – The Path To Healing – Making Amends!.
Follow the link and read the whole series in you’re interested…