Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

You know the guy I’m talking about. He spends hours into the night playing video games and surfing for pornography. He fears he’s a loser. And he has no idea just how much of a loser he is. For some time now, studies have shown us that porn and gaming can become compulsive and addicting. What we too often don’t recognize, though, is why.

In a new book, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan say we may lose an entire generation of men to pornography and video gaming addictions. Their concern isn’t about morality, but instead about the nature of these addictions in reshaping the patten of desires necessary for community.

If you’re addicted to sugar or tequila or heroin you want more and more of that substance. But porn and video games both are built on novelty, on the quest for newer and different experiences. That’s why you rarely find a man addicted to a single pornographic image. He’s entrapped in an ever-expanding kaleidoscope.

There’s a key difference between porn and gaming. Pornography can’t be consumed in moderation because it is, by definition, immoral. A video game can be a harmless diversion along the lines of a low-stakes athletic competition. But the compulsive form of gaming shares a key element with porn: both are meant to simulate something, something for which men long.

Pornography promises orgasm without intimacy. Video warfare promises adrenaline without danger. The arousal that makes these so attractive is ultimately spiritual to the core. Get more here: Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games – Desiring God.

9 thoughts on “Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

  1. DaPoet says:

    Both of my parents grew up in the Baptist church and were “born again Christians”. My dad was married 3 times – my mother has been married 9 times officially and lived with another one for a total of ten partners. A great many of today’s men are choosing to forgo marriage and intimate relationships with women turning instead to video games and porn. Because at the behest of the feminists our society has intentionally – with both malice and forethought – changed the laws regarding marriage, divorce and child custody to place men at a disadvantage with their intimate partners. Indeed for a man living with a woman to day is like having a gun with the hammer pulled back firmly placed against his temple by the state with his beloved’s finger on the trigger as all the while he hopes that she will never pull that trigger. This is not how I wanted to live my life and had I fully realized that this would be my lot living with a woman I myself would have chosen to have never married and sought another path.

    • Thanks for sharing, Poet. I understand what you mean about the emotional gun held to mens’ heads in our society, however, that does not relieve me of my responsibility to make good choices. For some reason, I have problems when I think about Christian marriage and all the ‘rights’ and expectations that go along with it. When I focus, however, on simply being a friend to my wife all these things have faded into the background for me. Blessings on you and your day…

  2. DaPoet says:

    Unfortunately its not an emotional gun so much as it is the threat of financial ruin. All it takes is one phone call and one lie for a women to make to have her husband destroyed financially and because so many women engage in this behavior marriage just doesn’t make sense anymore. And until our society decides to stop aiding and abetting women in the destruction of their marriages and the financial ruin of their husbands. More and more men will continue turning away from marrying and intimate relationships with women and fill the resulting vacuum in their lives with porn and video games.

    The church itself by compromising and looking the other way in regards to adultery {divorcing and remarrying several times over is adultery} and joining with the feminists to always blame men; instead of holding the women at fault accountable has done far more damage to the family then pornography, homosexually and video games.

    Its high time for Christians to take Christs advice and remove the speck from their own eye first before attempting to remove the speck from the eyes of those indulging in sinful pleasures.

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